


Turn off the lights

by Scarymarshmallows



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Self Harm, With happy ending??, sadfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-07 05:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8785414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarymarshmallows/pseuds/Scarymarshmallows





	1. Chapter 1

_"I got so sick of being on my own_  
_Now the devil won't leave me alone_ _"_

The thoughts of suicide cloud my mind as i walk this gog awful hallway in the personal hell called _school_. I wince every step i take, trying to ignore the pain of the fresh slices of flesh littering my thighs as i walk to my first class. I count down in my head, and get shoved down as soon as i get to one. "wwalking to class all alone again? thats sad lowwblood scum evven for you!" He laughs before grabbing me and slamming me against a locker. "wwhats wwrong, carp got your tongue?" Eridan snickered and bit onto my neck leaving another horrible bloodly hickey. I was just his slave. "L-LEAVE ME ALONE.. F-FUCKFACE.." A slap to my face and a kick to the stomach, before i am finally dropped and left alone to rot on the dirty school floor. "KaRbRo! WhAt tHe mOtHeRfUcKiNg hElL HaPpEnEd?!" I was picked up and carried like a child. Stupid Gamzee, carrying trash like me, why can he stand me? I'm a mutant.

 _"It's almost like I found a friend_  
_Who's in it for the bitter end"_

I stood in my bathroom looking into the mirror staring at my reflection. Cuts, bruises, and bitemarks cover my once 'fair' grey skin. Dark bags make my eyes look dead. But i throw on my clothes and head out the door into the unknown.

_"Our consciences are always so much heavier than our egos"_

The wind howled around us as we all stood outside in the summer heat. I hated gym, I had to wear shorts, and had to hide my legs from the blind girl. She couldn't see, but she could smell, and taste. Gross. "K4RK4T YOU OK4Y? 1 C4N T3LL TH3R3S SOM3TH1NG WRONG" Speak of the fucking devil. "IT'S NOTHING, GO FUCK OFF OR SOMETHING." She grunts of disapproval, but quickly walks off to go pester someone else.

 _"I set my expectations high_  
_So nothing ever comes out right"_

A new kid is of course new to our class, maybe a month after i started to self harm again. He's tall and pale, freckles and blonde hair, stupid ass sunglasses and those VERY plump lips. He's like a fucking god. And he's loved by ALL instantly. He sits by me, but i don't care. Nor does he. It pains me for some stupid shit reason. I thought we'd become friends quickly.

Boy was i fucking wrong.

 _"So shoot a star on the boulevard tonight_  
_I think I'll figure it out with a little more time"_

We've been partnered up for some idiotic project. Fuck my life. I glare at him, secretly admiring him 'from afar' i guess. He's even amazing at talking. No homo though. What does that even mean? I'll figure it out later, maybe.

_"But who needs time...?"_

By the end of the week, I'm in DEEP shit. I fucking LOVE HIM. ME. KARKAT. THE MOST HATED KID, LOVING THE MOST LOVED KID. What the fuck is wrong with my mind? It's just the way he smiles, the way his laugh lights up the room. His words make me bubble down to a pile of mush for him to, well i don't know, fuck? Ew. Wait. STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

_"Turn off the lights, turn off the lights"_

My brother was just emitted to the hospital, I don't fucking know what happened to him, but here i am fucking crying and cutting my skin AGAIN over it. God I'm a weak mother fucker. The last time i spoke to him was when we got in a horrible argument about some stupid thing that i wouldn't stop fucking obsessing over. Look where that got me. Fuckface.

_"Turn on the charm for me tonight_   
_I've got my heavy heart to hold me down"_

My emotions are numb at this point. Eridan has been using me more and more knowing that i'm at a standpoint of depression. I get home every night to just sob, throw up, cut, then sleep. Dave's been trying to get me to be happy, but to no avail. I think he's given up at this point.

"Once it falls apart my head's in the clouds  
So I'm taking every chance I got  
Like the man I know I'm not"

I sit on my bed, eyeing the knife that sits in front of me, it's covered in dryish blood, but i grab it continue cutting my arms and legs not caring if i lose a bunch of blood. The edges of my vision start to blur as i weakly drop the knife. I think i fall back as my eyes close. Hopefully for good.


	2. Chapter 2

_"So sick of wasting all my time_   
_How in God's name did I survive?"_

I wake up in a hospital bed, with a throbbing pain going through my body. "karkat! you've fiinally woke up! we've been 2o worriied!" I look over to see Sollux and Eridan sitting there beside me. I instantly feel sick and dirty. "GET HIM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I scream as Eridan runs out snarling slightly. "what wa2 wrong wiith hiim kar? anythiing you wanna talk about?" I spat and turned my head shaking it slightly, He doesn't know. I don't want him to know. The door busts back open and i'm face to face with no one other then

**Kankri**

_"I need a little sympathy_   
_To sore my insecurities"_

After hours apon hours of being lectured, he's now sitting down beside me panting. I don't think much of it until Cronus walks in. "You should be resting doll." He says slightly worried and takes Kankri out of the room before sitting back down. "Kar, has anyone told you? wvell, Kankri has 8RONCHITIS, it's not that 8AD 8UT they wvanted to keep him here for a fewv days. Sorry for him to yell at ya' like that, 8UT, he heard about it and got extremely mad son. Gnight." And he walked out quickly after ruffling my hair. "that wa2 extremely boriing. ii have two head back two the apartment, eriidan want2 two 2peak two me there. 2ee ya maybe tomorrow kar!" And he also walked out leaving me alone. I wanted to stop him, and i should have.

"Our consciences are always so much heavier than our egos  
I set my expectations high  
So nothing ever comes out right"

Sollux came back that morning in a long shirt with Dave tagging with him. He seemed to flinch away when anyone tried to touch him or just gesture at him. Dave just finished this completely stupid story, and now he's heading home. Something about his brother and smuppets or what ever the fuck he said. "SOL, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU" I 'asked' as soon Dave left. "w-what are you talkiing about! ii'm perfectly fiine." We argued until he finally told me what the hell happened. 

"fiine! when ii got back two the hou2e and hung out wiith eriidan for a biit, he 2tarted two act 2trange. he grabbed my arm2 and ju2t made me feel uncomfortable. then he.. beat me up..but ii'm fiine! ii 2wear."

-Dave's POV-

I listened to their conversation for a while when i heard them talk about Eridan. Sol was beat up. That fish fucker. Then Karkat said he always was like that towards hi- wait. WHAT. He used Kitkat??? IN 'THAT' WAY?? Oh hell no not my fucking kitkat.

** _He's fine. What fucking lies._ **

** _ERIDAN, YOU MADE THE WRONG DECISION YOU FUCKING FISH DOUCHE._ **


End file.
